heart check

Everyday here is a constant opportunity tohttps://steftaylorhedoesmore.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.php check my heart, to take my mind and heart before the Lord and really ask Him to reveal the things that need to be transformed and renewed into the likeness of His ways.  I tried to update the blog last night, but due to the diving termites I was not able to.  Yesterday was so fun filled with lots of soccer, a beautiful African sunset, and some of the most precious kids on the planet, I am convinced.  My reactions are driving me crazy, because my heart and mind are often doing two different things. My heart goes into straight love mode, I know that has to be only Jesus because nothing in my flesh is good on my own, and my mind kicks into what I will call “American” mode.  My mind gets anxious fast, nervous fast, and just fears really what has been unknown to me because of the way (which is a HUGE blessing) I have grown up in and live in the U.S.  I know when people travel to third worlds they always come back saying- I will never take this or that for granted again- I can tell you that is one of the many cries of my heart right now.  Lord, thank you thank you thank you.  Not just for things that are material, but for real relationship with Him, for incredible people who love me and stick with me in life, His active word, and just ahhh this list could go on for days. As I write this I can hear the sounds of the bush, Nigerian radios, motor bikes riding by, and of course the voices and laughs of really precious children.  Soccer balls beating off the walls of the compound, drums of the radio, and kids being kids.  It amazes me how different things can be, while really similar at the same time.  I wonder what it will be like to go back to the U.S. in just like tenish days and not hear these things when my head hits the pillow at night.  I know I will miss it, and the moments where I long for simple things that I don’t even need, my heart reminds me these opportunities are once in a lifetime, are a glimpse of Heaven, and is truly one of the biggest blessings and gifts I have ever known.  By His grace…For lunch today I tried yam and beans- it was pretty good, kind of like potatoes and beans in the U.S. Don’t worry I lasted like a bite and then it was accompanied by a granola bar and peanut butter.  As much as I am trying to stretch here, I am realizing how often I limit myself, but these is silly boundaries I create to protect myself.  That is a really long subject that I could talk about for days, but for now I’ll just stick with we serve a HUGE God, the Creator of the World, The LORD who lives and who reigns, redeems, saves, and rescues.  He does constantly more than I can begin to fathom or dream of, and I never want to dream small, or live so safe that I miss out on something incredible that He has for me.  This hit my heart on the middle of a make-shift soccer field last night watching the African sunset and getting whopped up on by a bunch of kiddos.  I realized I for sure am getting older, and that they are absolute studs.  Um- there is so much and I wish I could fit every story in here but that literally would take all day and well it is almost time for Wednesday night Bible Study.  Know that your prayers mean more than you could ever begin to fathom, there are literally moments where it is like I can feel them.  So good that peace only comes in knowing Him, and that it trumps every circumstance.  I could not view the poverty or brokenness here without the view and vision of Christ, there is absolutely no way, it is by His grace alone that we are called and get to love and extend the full Gospel through it.  This place really is beautiful and so are these people.  A place of Hope is true to its name, it really is A place of Hope.  This kids are so full of joy, and so excited just to do life everyday.  From doing the wash, to singing praises at night there is a joy here that I haven’t seen much in life, but I absolutely love it.  Thanks so much for reading, I will keep the updates coming.  Pray that you are diggin in that word today, and thanking Him for His absolute sovereignty and grace in our lives.  Jesus lives & saves.  We should be so excited today, and forever.  Thanks for continually loving me so well. It means so so much, even when I am on the other side of the world.  Will update again soon.  Much Love from the Bush!  In His Grace. Stef


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